I'm not sure why.
But sometimes, when I start getting @#$%ed somehow, through my daily soap opera of madness I jokingly call my life, I go to bed and have ... dreams. Whenever I get so absolutely stressed I'm about to have a fit of some sort, I always get what I've come to call my "comfort" dreams - a.k.a, a visit from my Guardian Angel (which in all likelihood is my own brain calming myself down, but I'm an artist and romanticist, so ... eff that).
It's just this one guy, holding me. Last night it turned out to be another, which shocked me, because another has never showed up in that capacity. It's always been the same one. Huh. And I did some research on what others think Guardian Angels do, and how they do it. Apparently folks that "have religion" (yes, I am aware I say that like a disease, I am not fond of many of the organized religions in the States) think it's a "being of light" and such. Well, that's definitely not the case with me - what if they take on forms that you can accept? Even ones that aren't "real"?
[insert Family Guy reference here]
But seriously, it's that hope that makes me smile on, as well as the very real support of my family. And that's awesome. Because I freak out in the coming months, like, hardcore. November through January sucks for me.