Am having second thoughts whether if I truly am a "furry" or not.

So, yes. As the title suggests, I'm wondering what I am, really.

I've discussed furries at length here on this blog, before, due to the fact that most people immediately think of "bad" things when they hear the term. I've stated again and again how not every furry is "like that", how, for the most part, we're like you but we just like to focus our fandom on different things. You maybe wanted to pretend you were a superhero when you were a kid, well... we like to pretend we're anthros. And not all of us stopped liking to pretend!

That's it, except that I see now it isn't.

I identify more with animals than humans. Humans are always cruel to me, they don't understand me - as a child, other kids always treated me worse than a "nerd", stoning me, hurting me mentally and physically when all I ever wanted to do was be a part of their world. I wasn't sure how, since I hadn't associated with kids as a child until I was tossed into the school system (and that was a huge part of the problem, I think). But I always go in with the best of intentions and never lose that ... while other people do their best to intentionally hurt me. Uck. Screw that, right? So, staying human while having animal characteristics seems awesome! I have my opposable thumbs, I can drink coffee, speak, etc etc; yet I could not be human at the same time. Anthro, a wonderful word. My "fursona" is a nekomata, which is a demon cat that can change into something of a human. I either draw her as a full cartoon cat with a split tail, or a rubenesque gal with ears and a tail that resembles me when I'm of average weight. I like to wear the ears and tails I have at home, but my fursuit head stifles me and I don't like it that much.

The main thing that disturbs me is that I can't stand seeing all the damned sex furries draw.

Let's not get me wrong, I'm a sexual being. I write erotica often, and have several published books out with shorts (and one full novel) of the ultra-romance nature. But you will not see blatant sex or nudity in my art galleries. You will not see slang words that are offensive to the ears in my writing. I make certain, or at least I try valiantly, to bring a sense of decency in that way to the work I do. I've written smut before, yeah. A lot of it was when I was young (we all make mistakes). I wrote more and got better at expressing what I feel without being tasteless. But what I see in a majority of "furry" art galleries is just that: smut. Porn for smut's sake - and swear words that are better written on the side of a building used to refer to genitalia and whatnot.

Have some freakin' decorum.

It's the stuff that offends people's eyes when they see furries blanging furries over and over and over again on your page in graphic detail. A lot of these artists have talent, clearly, but most folks find this kind of thing offensive. Even other furries. You're giving us a bad name, guys. Hide that stuff from public view, and showcase some other pieces of art now and then, right? Why not? Why does everything have to be graphic sex acts with "you people"? See, that's how others see furries. And it makes me wonder... am I one? I dabbled in drawing some things like that, but I never liked graphic stuff, preferring romance more than slobbery sex acts in my art.

As seen on the left, I prefer having my character (or the one she's with) covered, and not shown in the actual act. Suggestive, not HAY THERE HERE'S SEX SPLAAATTTTT MOOSH THUMP

Said "sex starved" furries seem to be proud of the way they love sex. And I'm not saying sex is a bad thing. Or even that drawing it is a bad thing. Just that if I see 99.9% of furries drawing sexually explicit stuff, I'm going to think all they do/think/breathe/sleep is sex (as most folks think furries do). And there is more to everything than that. There's more to me, at least, I know. And I think a lot of furs would see this as an attack (everyone takes everything personally now) against them. It's not, really, but I'm confused. You're trashing yourselves, and I'm not one of those ... but am I furry then?




TLDR: I think everyone would view furries as a whole better if their galleries weren't 100% squishy porn. I don't know whether I'm a furry or not, because my galleries do not contain fur-porn. Erotica, yes, but I have a lot of regular cartoons, illustrations of fave movie stars, etc., etc.

I think what I may have re-learned is nothing is black and white. I have said before "I am a furry", but now I view things differently. I share some views as furries. But I don't do what I see a lot of them doing, nor do I frequent places they are on the 'net or anything.

I guess after all, I'm really just me. Heh.

Harvest Moon 3D: Lost Valley

This is it - a game that I recommend that even if you're a Harvest Moon fan - don't buy it. Spare yourself the frustration, because there's nothing but wrong in this game. It's not the same game you're thinking of - they "went a different way" with this one, and it's not a good path.

I play the HM games usually... well, forever, actually. I'm still playing Magical Melody on my old Game Cube. But this? I didn't even get to the 3rd month. It's that horrifying.




What they got wrong:

Bachelors/Bachelorettes: they went back to 3 only for each gender. Not only that, but they got rid of "gift-giving". You must speak to the person each day, which is difficult because there's no town and they wander aimlessly around on their days off. You have to do "requests" when their "chemistry" goes up to get them to like you.

The people: are filled with (glaringly racist in some cases) gimmicks. One bachelor speaks in rhyming couplets, the other in an American Southern drawl (country hick, complete with "Y'all", "ain't" and anything else you can think of). The male merchant is apparently from Brooklyn ("Youse gotta sumtin' ta sell me?") And so on. One of the girls is such a #@$% that I stopped playing the game because I became so angry about how rude she was to me.

The world: I hear people say it's "like Minecraft". It's only "like" Minecraft because the game uses "blocks" you can "manipulate". It's not fun, and the system of controls for the blocks (dirt) is terrible. Honestly, I'm all for being able to make my world as I want, but I have to make sure I'm standing parallel/level, or within 3 blocks of whatever I want, oops, there's a tree (same thing, have to be level with it to chop it down)... it's difficult, because there's no way to just add blocks to nothing, so there's no way I can make what I want. If there's an area I need to get to on top the mountain (or down), it takes me more than several days to manage, as well, and that's all I can do from the moment I wake from the moment I sleep.

It's too big - if people are wandering around, I have to speak with them everyday to increase their "chemistry", but I can't, because by the time I get to them they're gone, "warped" magically to another spot because oh, hell, I forgot, I had to actually do what the game forces me to do 24:7 (see below).

The game: it's basically the worst slave game possible. You don't ever feel a part of the town (because there isn't any), the people (because they just parrot things at you), and your existence is but for a single purpose: grow crops, feed animals, PACIFY THE HARVEST GODDESS, MINION. Now, I don't mind monotonous games - the HM series is kinda like that -- but in the other games there was so much more.

Elly's personal pissoff: they even made the fishing terrible! You idiots, I can't stop yanking in my bobber when it goes down... because every single game since the beginning of games is like that! No, no. Here, you have to wait past the dunk, until your character gets an exclamation point (!) over their head. Then you can reel it in. UGHHH YOU RUINED FISHING YOU MORONS

Roronoa Zoro FAQ

I'm rather stupid, as those who come to my sites and view my work may recall. Well, I used to have the biggest fansite devoted to Roronoa Zoro on the web (not Wiki, fansite - RoronoaZoro.com and Roronoas.com were the URLs that led to the same page and are not active by me anymore), and the info I pooled and recorded was used by tons of people. I still, to this day, find my original Zoro gifs (like the one above!) floating all around the internet without folks realizing they originated from me ... durn it, some of those took work. LOL. Some are even my artwork!

TL;DR: so duh, I should dip into some of my Zoro site info (it's on one of my external hard drives, never deleted it entirely) and showcase it here.


Links COMING SOON  below!

Stupid Cat's Guardian Angel(s)

Y'know, although I'm bipolar, am menopausal and have some serious medical issues that drive me crazy (although crazier may be the proper word there) ... I'm not always bitchy. In fact, in person I'm always smiling and usually the funny gal who makes others laugh with her constant silliness.

I'm not sure why.

But sometimes, when I start getting @#$%ed somehow, through my daily soap opera of madness I jokingly call my life, I go to bed and have ... dreams. Whenever I get so absolutely stressed I'm about to have a fit of some sort, I always get what I've come to call my "comfort" dreams - a.k.a, a visit from my Guardian Angel (which in all likelihood is my own brain calming myself down, but I'm an artist and romanticist, so ... eff that).

It's just this one guy, holding me. Last night it turned out to be another, which shocked me, because another has never showed up in that capacity. It's always been the same one. Huh. And I did some research on what others think Guardian Angels do, and how they do it. Apparently folks that "have religion" (yes, I am aware I say that like a disease, I am not fond of many of the organized religions in the States) think it's a "being of light" and such. Well, that's definitely not the case with me - what if they take on forms that you can accept? Even ones that aren't "real"?

[insert Family Guy reference here]

But seriously, it's that hope that makes me smile on, as well as the very real support of my family. And that's awesome. Because I freak out in the coming months, like, hardcore. November through January sucks for me.

eBay Buyers Can't Read

I just feel like ranting about a stupid thing. Ha!

So, today I logged into eBay and I get a nasty, sarcastic PM from a buyer who purchased a vintage My Little Pony Carousel game from me back in July. She's telling me that when her daughter opened it, OH MY GOSH half was missing!

First off, thank goodness she's that stupid, otherwise I'd have gotten another undeserved negative feedback. Always open everything and check when you get a package, even if it's a present for later on. I buy all my gifts on eBay and I always check. I've been done with Christmas for like, 3 months now.

Second, it wasn't "missing half" the contents. It was missing exactly what the description stated in bold, colored letters (so that idiots didn't miss it, unfortunately, she missed it I guess) - there were no stampers included. I also sent her a link to a collector's site which shows what was in the original unopened game so she can maybe wrap her brain around that.

THIRD, anyone with brains can just take any stamper to play the game. Of course, if purchased for sentimental value, that sucks, but I was very, very, very-very-very clear in the auction that it was NOT "complete", because I took the stampers for my collection. I don't know how I could have made it clearer... flashing text? Because honestly, I remember coloring and making it bold, so no one would miss the fact they were gone. Also, it was quite cheap - maybe we should watch what we buy instead of greedily snatch things up, huh? If it's super cheap, there's usually a reason why. That makes red flags rise in my head when I see stuff on eBay.

It's not my fault you can't read, woman. Ughh. I'm sorry the other girl - the daughter -- didn't get the full gift she wanted, but it's not my fault. It's not always the seller's fault, you know, just because you wanna blame someone. You can blame yourself - and should, when it IS YOUR FAULT.