Friday, January 1, 2016

Review: One Piece Variable Action Heroes Roronoa Zoro

This is going to be a pure, unadulterated "angry nekomata" rant, so if you're not in the mood..

TL:DR - Crunchyroll sucks, don't ever order toys from them (especially pre-orders) & this toy sucks, is not worth the money.

This is off the Crunchyroll website. Mine's back in the box (never have I stuck a Zoro toy so quickly back in his box) and I don't care to open it again for pics. It looks like that.

Anyway, I pre-ordered this with birthday money on June 3, 2015. I got it around December 20 or so of the same year (thank God, or I'd have been foaming with rage  worse than I was already). The Crunchyroll site doesn't care about pre-orders. This is my second purchase, and I'll never make any more. I had the exact same experience last time! Anyway, no contact for months, and then when I see it's showing up IN HAND on sellers' eBay shops, I contact Crunchyroll. The same day the item magically "shipped out". Don't tell me that was a coincidence. They forgot!

Anyway, I was super excited to receive this, it being ball-jointed and posable. I was nervous about the damned robe though - his robe gets in the way all the time. The site and others convinced me that it was soft enough rubber that it would be okay, though. The box came, I opened it... and immediately had an issue with the manufacturer's plastic wrap. The middle of the figure - inside the haramaki (green belly band) -- had plastic wrap. The figure doesn't come apart there, so how the hell are you supposed to get it off? I Google'd "unboxings", but those are all by dipshits that talk about the figure, not actually unbox it. No mention about how hard it was to get off, no mention of what they did. So after nearly breaking it by trying to separate his robe near the part, I clipped a piece of plastic with a small scissors and gently tugged for around 20 minutes. The f- I was gonna break this, it cost $97!

Okay, now I'm pissed anyway, and I have gotten a good look at his face after fiddling with it for ages.


Natural style, but still, what the hell?! Gross! The face is disgusting! On an expensive figure?! UGH! That's a major breaking point for me. And at this point I was willing to place it in our figure case just to get it out of my sight ... we go to put the swords on, and ohhhhh. Guess what? They don't fit. It's a long peg with a hole, and it just won't fit.


I said some very nasty things and placed him back in the box. I may mess with him later (see below), but long story short: this one's just not worth the exorbitant cost.

Oh, pose-ability on the super mega poseable figure? Next to nil for Zoro, because his robe gets in the way. Crouched, or slightly not crouched.

*edit: took him out and figured I'd swap the head out for one that didn't look lip-sticky. This required a bandanna head, so then I had to take the forearm off (the original has a bandanna wrapped around it) and place the one without (in box) on the figure. HOLY CARP, IT'S SO HARD TO TAKE THINGS OFF/PUT THEM ON! Capslock was needed there, truly, so you can understand I nearly broke my fingers trying to put the damned arm on. I thought I'd broken the figure, too.


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