I will NEVER want children

...continued from my DeviantArt Journal posting a couple years ago, with additions.

I'll keep changing my age as I remember this and to point out my feelings have not changed, despite how everyone else tells me I should feel/should/will want.

Mine you, since everyone takes things so stupidly personal these days, I'll add this to the journal: this is not an attack against those women who love kids or choose to have a million of them. It's perhaps only an 'attack' of words to those asshole educators, GYNs, and every moron who has told me what my mind is, because apparently they are psychic and know what I think better than myself.

I will never want (or have) children.

Yeah. I never will. I'm 36 38 41 years old now, have stated this since I was maybe 5 or younger... and I WILL NEVER CHANGE MY MIND.

You hear that, stupid doctors? GYNs? General populace? I never, ever will.

NO I did not want them after I "grew up".
NO I did not want them after I got married.
NO I do not want them because I need "someone to take care of me" in my old age. (Selfish much?)
NO I will not want them when I'm 30, 40, 50 years old (every decade they just push it back).

I do not want them because I don't like them very much.
I do not want them because they are not "cute" to me in any way.
I do not want them because I am still a child myself.
I do not want them because we do not have the money to take care of them.
I do not want them because I am bipolar with many physical issues, and will pass it to them.
I do not want them because I am bipolar, and would not be able to take care of them.
I do not want them because I don't like humanity, or the way the world is lately.
I do not want them because I had a shit childhood, and other children are cruel.
I do not want to have them because we're overpopulated.

I will proclaim that I like children better than the idiot that has kids "just because they have to". Know why? Because I factor in everything, even if I like something - before getting one. I'm an animal lover to the extreme, for example. But if I can't keep an animal the best it can be kept, even if it "needs" me, we won't get it. Lately people are popping out kids without a care or thought, because they feel they need to. Well, you don't. Especially if you're just going to ignore the kid because you're depressed all the time, which, by the way, I hear from a LOT of "kids" on the gaming sites I go to. It's a common complaint. And I always think: 'gee, maybe mom should have corked it', or maybe *GASP-shock-NO* aborted, rather than have a child they clearly cannot take care of'!

I'm even afraid of sex, because women are starting to lose every right they have to their bodies. And hell, I live in Kansas now (hate it, I hate it). If I get pregnant by some miracle, what will become of me? They kill people here for daring to try to get abortions (my opinion is that right-to-lifers should call themselves right-to-babies, or "pro-baby", not "pro-life", because of all the death they condone and even cause).

I want my tubes tied - and goddamn it, I will get this procedure done someday.* Even if they make it tremendously hard, even if they make my husband have to sign before I can have it (WTF, he can have his procedure done without me signing!) I don't care if I'm too old for kids when I finally get the right to have it done, because make no mistakes, it's my @#$%ing right as it's MY body, NOT yours - I'll do it.

* well, at 41 I'm definitely going through menopause (peri, anyway), so it looks like I'll just be waiting the idiots out at this point. When I can PHYSICALLY NO LONGER HAVE kids, I'll FINALLY be able to relax and enjoy sex. Fuck you, world.

Right now I'm keeping this as a documentary of sorts, to keep for the rest of my life, to be published after my death by my husband or remaining family, that proves I never wanted them right up until I died. That's the only way these idiots will ever believe me, and it's sick that it's what I have to do. I feel the need to - they're so smug about it, they KNOW MY MIND, you see, and they're 100% wrong. They couldn't be more wrong. I dislike children, and not only that, I have mental/physical ailments I shouldn't pass down to anyone else! So not only do I not WANT kids, if you step back and look at all the other reasons, I SHOULDN'T. And all these assholes just parade around squawking, 'you'll want them, you'll want them'.

 By the way, I love responding back to these folks by asking either what religion they are or what political affiliation. If they say "Christian", I'll smile benignly and tell them in my most saccharine tones, "Well, you'll want to convert to Wicca some day."  

eBay Buyers - please read!

I'm a weary hobby seller on eBay.

I started on a different account back when eBay started (which I gave to an ex when we split up). This usually has its ups and downs like any life experience. But eBay has turned into a nightmare for sellers lately. There are many reasons why it's tough for us now, but this essay will focus on one area: shipping and handling.

Buyer problem: Buyers want to pay exactly what the shipping cost is and nothing more. Seller problem: Sellers need to make money on eBay to continue selling on eBay. Not charging for all the extra costs we incur means we lose money. I mean to show buyers what happens when you sell on eBay. Quick and to the point, here is an item I recently sold where I received neutral feedback because, as the buyer put it, "Shipping too high priced and slow." I will prove here that it was not too high priced, and it was shipped within my limits shown on the eBay page - faster than the highest time estimated, in fact!

SHIPPING & HANDLING

As a buyer, you need to be aware of all the information readily available to you on the auction page itself. Look at the details, because both eBay and I are telling you what you will pay:






#1:  the item will be shipped to you for $9.00 standard shipping, which means first class.

#2: the item has a 5 day handling time, which means it does not ship out immediately. The date shown is when it should arrive at your home. The buyer who left me neutral complained that a single week - 7 days -- was "too slow". In fact, I could have shipped in 10 days and been on course with what the auction very clearly states is normal.

Moving right along, if you somehow missed the bright orange letters eBay has used to show you the handling time I have on my auctions and how long it may take to get to you, there is yet another section within the auction itself.





#1: Click this, and it takes you to the next image, shown below.

#2: click this clearly marked, colorful section, and it takes you to a page where I explain all my seller practices, such as shipping and handling!

*NOTE: as of now, eBay has dismantled the "me" page system, because it gave sellers and buyers too much room to explain themselves and ridicule eBay itself for its bad practices. Thus, this is no longer valid.




After clicking the "Shipping and payments" section, this is what you find.

#1: this is the shipping and handling price I have listed for the item.

#2: I ship within 5 days after cleared payment, which means if your payment did not clear (meaning, I didn't get any money yet), I don't ship. Sometimes credit card payments do not go through right away, and if you pay by the dreaded e-check, it can take up to a week before the payment clears. You can't walk out of a store with an item without paying - it's the same with my items. I wait until the money is in my account.

#3: "estimated 6-10 business days" means Monday through Friday, not the weekend or on any holidays! I've had buyers complain when I didn't ship on Sunday or a Holiday - and no, they weren't International buyers. They knew it was a Holiday in the USA. They just didn't think because they were too focused on themselves. As you can see, eBay even lets me have Saturday off. And c'mon, now, you get days off from work. I know you do. So why can't I? Erase weekends and holidays, then, from the timeline for shipping. It's perfectly legal and says so right there. #4: certain times are slow for the USPS. I can ship fast as I can, but during the Winter holidays, for instance, the items are not going to ship as quick as they usually do. This isn't my fault. I do not control the shipping of your item in the USPS' system, I do not work for them, and I do not personally deliver it to your door. If it says on eBay that I sent the package within the time that I should have, then I have done my part and should not be penalized for something I can not control. #5 once again, the handling time is shown, in case you missed it the bunch of other times it was shoved in your face. It even tells you that "the seller has specified an extended handling period for this item." This means it will take longer for me to ship it to you. I've now shown that I sent the item within the time estimated on the auction page, which says I did my part of the bargain well - better, in fact, than the 10-day estimate. In my book, 7 is a smaller number, right? Always, always, count the days and make sure what the auction tells you. I get a lot of complaints about "slow" shipping when I ship within my allotted times. To a buyer, "yesterday" is too slow. I say that if you get an item that is rare for less, one you couldn't find anywhere else, and it's in good condition - who the hell cares if it isn't there the second you paid for it? Patience is a virtue, and a week is not "too long" to wait!

SHIPPING COSTS

Let's address the "shipping too high priced" part now. You will almost always pay more than the exact cost for shipping on eBay or any online store. Inexperienced folks may not charge a fee or not care, but someone selling for profit needs to do this, and I will show you why now. I charged $9.00 shipping (and handling). Standard shipping (first class) was $4.30 for the item. The buyer knew this (perhaps the price was stamped on the outside of the box), and quoted it, saying the extra was "unnecessary" or something like that. $9.00 minus $4.30 = $4.70. They thought that the extra $4.70 was "too much" and they should be refunded the amount. Let's show the world what I paid to earn that $4.70, shall we?




As you can see, I paid $1.50 for eBay's "final value fee" and then, $.90 cents for daring to charge shipping. (This equals $2.40 cents so far).




Paypal time! Paypal then charges me $1.00 for using their services. (Now this makes what I have paid $3.40 cents). After this, I need to pay for tape and boxes that I pay for. Yes, I use as much recycled items as I can, but I do pay for items myself. This means I must charge for them in every auction to make that money back, otherwise I'm just bleeding costs and I will not make any money.


Here's what I usually buy - small boxes. As you can see, on sale they cost $22.94.

But as #1 shows, I normally buy them for $25.43. And yes, the screenshot is taken from the shop where I normally buy them! 25 boxes, 25 dollars. This means 25 buyers will pay $1.00 extra for their new, sturdy box. (Now this makes what I have paid $4.40 cents). Add in packing tape (not including the time I put in doing all of this!), and it goes over $4.70 in fees I have paid to make this item available to you. I have clearly not overcharged. I need to recoup that money, or I'm paying out of pocket for it! eBay is about me getting money back for the items I am selling. I need the money to keep listing. If I don't make money, I can't make the items available to you to buy. In most cases, I'm selling the items for less than what I paid and less than what everyone else is selling them for as well. So I'm losing money anyway, and then I need to lose more because you want to pay even less for something you paid less for anyway? And sometimes, for a rare thing you can't find anywhere?! You should be happy you found it! Please think. The next time you go to give a seller neutral or negative feedback over shipping times and costs, give it a second thought. Think about it. Think, look, read. If it wasn't the seller's fault, don't just blame them. 

If your crafts suck, suck it up!

Why the @#$% are all these Etsy sellers begging me to "reconsider" my negative feedback?

You made an item that wasn't worth it. If it was crappily crafted and has holes in a sewn plush, black thread where there is white fabric (WTF seriously), etc. etc, then it's not your customer service I have an issue with. You wrapped it prettily, for the most part everyone does, with frills an confetti and freebies and crap. BUT I DON'T CARE if the item arrives and it's shit! 

You're the artist - if you feel an item "isn't good enough", then don't list it or say that you feel it is an inferior piece. Don't feed me excuses and try to guilt me into changing my negative feedback!

So, back story. I recently gave negative to someone after their plush toy was shit (popped seams, heavily hot-glued plastic nose, black thread where white fur was, etc.) It was hideous. The seller tried to beg me on Etsy to retract, and when I did not they sent me a hideous "free gift" in the mail, once again begging me to retract the feedback. They're now trying to guilt me into doing it, saying I hope I have a "change of heart"!
@#$%! No! 

The fact that you said it was one of your "first" pieces and "I'm doing much better now" WAS NOT SAID IN THE LISTING. In fact, you wanted 60% more for the damned thing when you first listed it! And then even at 60% off it wasn't a bargain. I'm doing you a favor. You think I'm a terrible person, but I'm telling you, your work wasn't good enough to stand up to other artist's standards. 

My mother has made me plushes throughout my life. None of those ever popped a seam or had any issues - even though a five-year-old played with them really hard (I loved stuffed animals back then like I do now of course!) But my mother won't put anything of hers up for the ridiculous prices you were asking, even though she is an immaculate seamstress. It sickens me. If you KNEW the listing was for "your very first" piece, if it wasn't "really all that good", then MENTION IT, or don't freaking sell it. Don't make excuses!

Also, Etsy... why can't we upload pictures of an item when we're dissatisfied with it? Why can we only do that on feedback if we're happy? You'd think, that would be a GREAT way to show what a shit item the person sold you, y'know? Proof. But nope, they don't allow it if you post a 1-star rating.

Also also wik, this shitty seller might be sewing better now, but their feedback is all great, even on items that I know looked like butt (and came around the same time frame as the one I bought). People, people, have some standards. Just because you can't sew for shit, doesn't mean someone that sews like shit is good. Why do I get all the picky a-holes that want $100 worth of GOOD work for pennies when shitty crafters get the ones that don't care and think crap is good (and consequently buy shit for $100)?

My eBay Sales Pages

Thanks for taking the time to look at my auction!

DESCRIPTION:

[description here]

Stop by my other listings! Thanks and happy bidding!

About me as a Seller

Please read the following carefully, as they detail my selling policies. Also please be kind and think of the person who is the seller. I'm not a big store. I'm just trying to make some desperately needed cash to pay bills and be able to eat this month.

Item Condition

All items come from a smoke free home with non-allergenic pets (we own 2 toy poodles - poodles do not shed, the items are kept stored away from them, and they're trained not to touch what is not theirs). Items are described very well with many photos.

PLEASE LOOK AT ALL PHOTOS AND READ THE DESCRIPTION CAREFULLY. I sell collectibles that I know a lot about, but I can make mistakes, so please double check. Please note that if you are a buyer that wants a perfectly 100% mint packaged item, I respectfully request you look elsewhere. I can not guarantee that items are 100% free of any damage at all. There may be tiny things about the item(s) I don't notice because they're small. Most folks won't, either, but there are those that collect certain toys that have ridiculous standards (many times because they are greedy resellers!)

Payment

I do not do "holds", and I must have payment within the standard time eBay gives buyers. I accept PayPal only. If payment is not received, I will re-list the item.

Shipping

Orders are shipped out ASAP - which may take up to 3-4 days depending on availability of our single car, bad weather, holidays, etc. PLEASE BE PATIENT. All of the folks that have left less than excellent feedback about me complain about shipping time when, if you look carefully, their item arrived well within the eBay time estimated (or sooner).

All orders are shipped via the USPS within the United States only. I do not ship internationally. Tracking information will be emailed to you once it is generated. Tracking numbers sometimes take a very long time to register. Please contact me if anything seems amiss and I'll look into the matter at once!

IF YOU ARE NERVOUS ABOUT YOUR ITEM(S) ARRIVING SAFELY, please request insurance. I can tack on an insurance fee depending on what the USPS charges for value of the item(s). I use newspaper, magazines, recycled wrap, mailers and boxes to pack. You may not receive a brand-new box or mailer, but it will be mailed as safely as possible.

Returns

No returns are accepted. I give each item a very thorough description, providing details on any flaws or imperfections, as well as take multiple pictures of each item. I pack my items very carefully as well, sometimes going as far to double-box or wrap every single one individually in a lot. If you don't request insurance (see above) and it arrives in any condition other than what the listing stated, it's because of the Post Office, not me. Although quite rare, it does happen, I understand, and it's terrible when it does.

Take pictures of any damaged mailer(s) or box(es) BEFORE OPENING THEM to show me if this has occurred. If you do contest a refund with eBay, I will need the item(s) mailed back at your cost for a refund of the item(s) original price only. You will not be able to keep the item and receive any refund at all. It must be mailed back and I must receive it before the refund in condition in which you have shown it was sent to you.

Feedback

Feedback is very important to the eBay community. I appreciate very much the positive feedback I receive from my customers. Please remember to leave feedback after you have received your item(s) and are happy. I will do the same for you!

ONE PIECE Sanji "Film Cell"

Honest to god, I'd forgotten about this. My sister in law sent it over the last time she was here, and I was shocked to see it again! So yeah, the photos are crap, but it's a film cell I did of Sanji from ONE PIECE.

That's the finished one ... yeah yeah, I don't have PhotoShop on this computer or anything and I'm getting pissed, so I didn't mess with it. It's dark. Deal with it. Oh, and some of the layers:

Whee. I remember it was a hassle and a half (especially the watercolor BG, as I hate watercolors and am not as comfy with them as I should be), but I'm glad I did it.

Why Etsy Sucks

Don't get me wrong, I loved Etsy so hard ... for awhile.

I had to leave eBay because of the cheating buyers, since eBay believes them and punishes me for doing a good job. Which, by the way for each neutral feedback (2) and negative (1) on an account with over 1,000 positive feedback, I could prove.

Anyway: I collect lots of Pokemon things. Everywhere on eBay Pokemon is listed as "Vintage" when it's old, and I didn't think twice, just put it up on Etsy as Vintage, thinking it was. But it's not - by two lousy years. Vintage means 20 years old, and my old Pokemon stuff is 18. So I get an email warning me I'll be suspended if I don't take it all down.

I check on Etsy, and LO AND BEHOLD instead of 1 page of stuff where it's mostly my items, there are now 2 of "vintage" Pokemon. Clearly, someone wanted to eliminate the competition and reported me. But yes, I did break the rules. I'm mad at Etsy because they very deliberately let some people slide while they pick on others.

You can find hundreds, if not thousands, of Made in China shops that sells thousands of factory-made things. You can find the same folks anywhere in the world that sell copyrighted images they've stolen for their own use, as well as tons of anime crafters that sell their own versions of Pokemon sculpted in Fimo or Sculpey - yes, those are also illegal. But why pick me? I've reported tons of shops on Etsy that are blatantly disregarding the rules, and nothing happens to them!

Other blogs and articles about how bad Etsy has gotten:

http://youthoughtwewouldntnotice.com/blog3/2008/11/13/copying-stalking-and-shop-deletions-on-etsy/

http://etsyrefugeesociety.blogspot.com/
http://artmakersworlds.com/etsysucks.html
https://twitter.com/EtsyLies

Other ideas for shops/services to use instead of Etsy:

http://www.businessnewsdaily.com/5287-etsy-alternatives-handmade-sites.html
http://craftybird.hubpages.com/hub/Great-Alternatives-to-Etsy
http://blog.fanchimp.com/the-best-marketplace-alternatives-to-etsy/

Why koffing is the best pokemon ever

He is purple
Has a crossbones on chest
He sounds like me in the morning ("coffeeeee"...)
OMG WTF IS THAT COFFEE COMING OUT OF HIM

(Yes, I know it's sludge :p eww. But it may as well be Starbucks in that case).


Seriously, every game I whine until I get my KOFFING on. Then it's time to furiously level him up - his name is always "Bomby" :P -- until he reaches MAXIMUM KOFFITUDE. And then? Then he gets shoved out in every single match I'm in by yelling 'TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM, BOMBY!"

/inevitable explosion that almost knocks him out every time

YESSS.